Divorce is never fun and Missing your kids is no different. It can be the best decision you have ever made if you get everything out in the open and don’t hold back, but it can also be the worst decision you make. You want to be fair to your ex spouse and do the right thing, but you still feel like you aren’t in love with your ex and want to keep custody of your kids. How do you find the middle ground? Here are some things to consider.
First, be flexible. Ask yourself if you really need more time away from your kids because this will only affect the kids negatively. If you are absolutely sure that this is the best option for both parties then parent separation might work for you.
Next, consider giving your ex spouse some extra time as well. This is not an easy decision so you need to be prepared for the worst and for the good. If you know your decision about parent separation will benefit your ex spouse, give him or her some extra time to cope with their situation. You can then have a better idea if you should try to stay together or if divorce is the better route for you. There will come a point when you have to make a final decision, but for now give your ex some extra time.
Don’t forget your children! It is important to remember that even though you don’t get to be with your kids anymore, they are still your kids and most likely still love you and would much rather be with you than go through a divorce. When making decisions about custody of your kids remember that sometimes children can feel like they are more or less grown up and that things that happened years ago do not really matter. It is best to talk to your kids about this because they may feel it is best for them to see you get a divorce as an adult instead of as a child.
Making some decisions about your divorce is better for both you and your kids than staying in a divorce and trying to work out the details alone. While it may be possible for you and your ex to reach a mutual agreement on joint physical custody, if you want to protect your kids then joint legal and physical custody is usually the best option. Another important thing to consider is what type of visitation you both desire. This will affect the custody arrangements and the final decision. It is often better to have some type of schedule worked out before getting involved in any type of legal issues. You can also make a parenting plan that outlines your expectations with your children.
Making the decision to separate from your spouse is never easy. Your kids are affected by the changes and turmoil. You have to accept that divorce is final and that you cannot change the law. But it is important to maintain contact with your kids in order to keep them feeling as part of your family. Taking the extra time to work through your divorce will be well worth it in the long run.